Verizon Wireless considers me a VIP

I'm feeling rather important today. Maybe because I just received a letter in the mail from Verizon Wireless that started like this:

Dear Patric Welch,

You're a VIP. It's that simple.

You've been automatically enrolled in the 2008 Verizon Wireless VIP Program* at no cost to you. There is nothing you need to except take advantage of all the exclusive benefits now available to you. It's simply our way of thanking you for your continued business.

I can't help but wonder what I did to elevate to VIP status with Verizon Wireless. Maybe it's the fact that I've been with Verizon Wireless for over six years. Or maybe it's the fact that I just recently bought two new Env2 phones, upgraded to a premium plan, bought a handful of accessories and added data/Internet to my monthly service. Yeah, I'm guessing it's the latter, given my Verizon Wireless bill tops off at nearly $250 each month now.

At least now I know what $250/month gets you. My VIP membership includes:

• Up to $50 off any new phone or PDA every year
• Text alerts letting me know if 'm close to exceeding my minutes and may benefit by changing calling plans
• One-time "Overage Protection Credit"
• 25% off wireless accessories
• Free 2-day shipping on all purchases
• Free phone book transfer to your new phone
• Waived activation and upgrade fees

I've never flown first class, never been invited to meet the President and never had front row tickets or back stage passes at a concert. This might be the closest I ever get to truly being a VIP. I'll take it.